A Travellerspoint blog

December 2012

I’m Not Dead

I've Just Been Busy Sulking

Excuse my tardiness, it’s been weeks since my last story-telling endeavour. It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that since I arrived back to Australia I’ve been extremely busy dwelling in a post-travel hole. It was a scheduled dwell. Like clockwork upon arrival. It’s akin to crossing through the Bermuda triangle, I go off radar. It involves a certain amount of hibernation, much like a bear in the winter months. I snuggle up with the cold, harsh reality of my life, store food so I don’t have to venture out and grow my hair long for warmth. I rarely go out and only interact socially when required. I fall off the face of the earth, ‘incommunicado’ - and there are no stories to tell when you hibernate in a cave as everything you are doing is of incredibly limited awesomeness than before.

Ah the returner’s blues. Traveller’s depression.

I have been home in Australia for just over 6 weeks. I had been away for 15 months, living abroad, being independent and grown-uppish, living in a city, paying rent and being my own boss. Sleeping in and staying up, mixing colours and whites and leaving my towel on the bedroom floor. I am now home in my small country town with my family. At my old job. In my childhood room. In the town I grew up in.

So I’m hibernating. It’s not for any depressing reason it’s just part of the re-entry process. The excitement of returning has long since faded and been replaced by the ever-to-familiar sights and sounds of life. Why am I stuck in this place? Why don’t I live in New York? Googles *cool apartments on the Lower West Side*. Everything is ‘meh’. It also seems as though every single person I know is living it up all over the world and having the most amazing adventures. Suddenly everyone is travelling and seeing cool new things except me. It’s not true at all, but it feels that way. I don’t think of the opposite when it’s me away and others working the daily grind.

So I avoid social media, by avoid I mean cut down my hours from excessive to the human average. I don’t respond promptly to text messages nor make any calls but then I never did.

It's the returner’s ennui.

I moan about being bored and having no friends. The trouble with travel is that it seems as though everyone you know lives somewhere else. I sit on the couch and flick through TV channels. I might try and find a slice of the exotic by spending two weeks looking for paneer cheese.
I can’t actually remember being away it’s like it’s never happened. I've slotted back in to the past. The past 16 months are a blur. I dwell on how life is going on the other side of the world without me. I think of what I am missing and all the things I never got to do rather than the cool stuff I did do.

But never fear. Soon I will be on to phase two of the re-entry process, which is a bit more social, in fact I think I may be at the cusp. That is when I re-emerge from my slump, and I spend a lot of time looking at maps, reminiscing, looking at photos and pouring over books like 100 best destinations or cool stuff to do next trip, instead of “oh great, look at the cool stuff I haven’t done”. I’ll stop and smell the roses. The glass will be half full. The world will be my oyster again.

I will re-adapt to my life of before. I won’t like getting up to work but I will do it. I will save my money and think of new adventures, where to go next? What will I do? Will I be wearing a cool hat?

Oh the possibilities will be endless. In the meantime I’m just going to lay in bed looking at photos, eat a box of Aldi lebkuchen and wait for the light on the other side.

Posted by The Tipsy Gipsy 04:06 Archived in Australia Tagged home australia returning Comments (0)

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