A Travellerspoint blog

May 2011

Thai-dyed

Adventures in the Thai sun.

semi-overcast 30 °C

Unfortunately my bastard computer has decided this sub-tropical climate is not for him and has decided to pack it in. I am trying desperately to revisit my VET Cert 1 in IT and fix it but so far it is to no avail, the only knowledge in that class memory bank is a Dreamweaver webpage.
This tragedy means that I have had to take to reading in my downtime which is fine, I do need to expand my vocabulary but it also means blogging has become a world harder. You could say impossible.
Now currently stuck on my silent, black screened computer is my unpublished entries from Malaysia and Sri Lanka so I am going to fast forward and bring you two weeks into the future to right now, where I find myself in sunny Koh Samui, Thailand.

We left muggy Malaysia on a plane with two external propellers just like one from Ducktales and arrived to our ritzy hostel in downtown Lamai Beach.

Koh Samui: A tropical paradise where old leathery women walk around the beaches in g-sting bikini bottoms and leathery old men chat up young Thai women in their shoestring budgie smugglers. The Germans, well they just go naked as they do.

We set out to look around, standing out with our fully-clothed bodies and pasty white complexions. A Thai cowboy ought to have mumbled "you ain't from around these parts are ye?". Around us were the tanned, salty sandy holiday makers who were us maybe only days before. Looking at us like we don't belong as they parade along eating a street-vendor coconut and wearing a sarong tied in a fashionable dress style. The kind of style you cannot achieve in mere hours of arriving.
We hit the beach first thing this morning to rectify this alienation. Thinking I could get a bit of a colour maybe blend in. A Thai lady came up for a chat soon after I sat down and told me that I looked young, maybe nineteen and that I was pale. Very pale. She kept putting her dark skinned arm against my English rose never-seen-the-light-of-day legs and kept laughing and saying "chocolate. white".
I was gaining sympathy for my tragic sickly skin color. The same lady then felt the need to scrub one of my feet leaving one baby smooth and the other dry and dirty so I suppose I ought take what she had to say with a grain of salt.

Even still, I decided to show her. I took my smooth foot and my scabby one and had a quick dip (scrubbed my other foot in the sand trying to achieve a similar effect) then settled in to read my book (see previous statement about me having to take up reading) and enjoy the warm yet overcast Thailand day. Relaxing after a busy week in Sri Lanka. I was feeling cool, a bit salty and sandy, I still didn't own a sarong but I was half-way there. We walked around via a stupid tourist attraction which in the end was just a wang-shaped rock.
On the way home I started to get pink. I was trying to sheild myself from the sun with a wet pair of boardshorts to no avail. The longer I walked the redder I became. This wasn't part of the plan. These Thailand regulars were certainly not red, they were more of a golden brown. No this will not do.
I returned to a cold shower and an air-conditioner (where I belong lets face it) and surveyed my days achievements, there was definitely no sun-tipped hair, no hideously decorative nail polish, no sarong, no golden brown skin. None of that, just a blotchy red skin, Deep Vermilion would be the matching Derwent.
I was looking in the mirror and there was a half-cooked lobster looking back at me.
Oh, no, what will the tanned, g-string bikinied people think of me now, no longer a pale newcomer, but a tragic pseudo-Brit who tries to sunbake and just slowly roasts.
How embarassing.
Thank god we are moving on to Koh Phangan tomorrow to a new set of holiday regulars to impress.

Posted by The Tipsy Gipsy 04:21 Archived in Thailand Tagged thailand sun sunburn koh_samui Comments (1)

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